i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I cut my penus on the lid.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
