Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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