I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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