Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
