Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize