In the future we'll all be gay
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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