My nipple is on Facebook.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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