when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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