I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
