I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize