Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
