im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You ruined the universe
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
