Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
