i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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