This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
