god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
