Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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