So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
