I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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