i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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