Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Your penis caused this!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
