Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
