i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
