No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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