windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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