I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel like abortions should bother me more
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
