Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is my gift to your gina
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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