I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
