I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
