my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
