Sponge bath it is.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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