What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
