do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
