There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i out mim tonsoeep
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