My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
