She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
