The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
