i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i think im in europe. pls send help
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