i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
