I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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