Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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