How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
