So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am one with the molecules
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
