Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I puked a lego.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
