well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
