So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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