I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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