I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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