Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
