I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize