i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.