Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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