Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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