no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
