Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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