Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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