is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
