I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
