how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
