I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
