Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
