so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
