Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
everyone is single if you try hard enough
handjob tips. give me some.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
