I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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