No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
