Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
