I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just found a bag of teeth...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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