I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
