I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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